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Nocturnal Emission

One of nature’s cruelest practical jokes. Why does it happen to the best of us and how to aid avoiding it after the lump jump

There you are just minding your own business, sexing away and it’s great. Then you wake up to find that the only thing real about it is the mess you now have to clean up.

A nocturnal emission (wet dream, night discharge, or spontaneous orgasm) is when you ejaculate while you’re catchin some z’s. It’s most common for boys in puberty, but it also happens to girls in the form of extreme lubrication of the vagina. This post, however, will focus mainly on the male side of things.

Wikipedia states that there’s no data to suggest an exact cause (aside from increased hormone production) or method of prevention, but several other sites, as well as a little common sense, say that you just gottalotta semen in your balls and you need make room for some fresh new swimmers. The more you rub one out on your own or with a friend, the less your body rubs one out for you. Although there have been cases where this isn’t the case, I have gone out of my way to put this theory to the test for the sake of Boss Not Boss readers everywhere, and it’s held true. So I’ve come up with this line to help you keep from waking up to the chore of washing your sheets in the middle of the night:

Awake for the cream, avoid the clean.