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Honda’s Million Mile Joe

I know what you’re all saying: “This man’s a hero!” Right? Because they threw him his own parade and they gave him a new car, he must be some kind of hero? Like, he probably gave a hundred sick children blankets or saved an old woman from a burning building? Well, I’m sorry, but you’re totally wrong. Million Mile Joe actually got all of this hype for driving a shitty car around for a really long time. Disappointment? Disgust? Anger? Yes, these are all feelings you are probably having right now and all I can tell you is… there is no more hope.

After watching this video, I really thought it was a joke. I love the line that Joe says in the beginning, “I didn’t get the reaction or excitement I was hoping for…” WHAT WERE YOU HOPING FOR?? Oh Joe. Some of you might be feeling the opposite of me, and I understand. People LOVE local “success” stories. They eat that shit UP. What I am upset about is the fact that a whole town and company put on this huge expensive event for something so extremely silly and trivial. I was seriously waiting for them to say something like, “He drove a million miles and he only has one leg!” or, “Wow he went all that way while driving food to homeless shelters across the country!” But no. The video ends with Joe getting a new car, his wife almost in tears saying how proud she is, and Miss Maine giving him a huge key. WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE?