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The Hunger Games Made Me Upset

Author Selena Category

Misc

Feb 20 2012

About a month ago I ordered the complete trilogy of The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins. Usually, when I hear a bunch of reviews from my friends about a movie or a book, it’s going to be pretty good. I trust them. They are smart, cool, honest people. I mean, it wasn’t just my friends, this trilogy seemed to be causing quite a stir in the literature world. The New Yorker claiming, “The books tend to end in cliff-hangers that provoke their readers to post half-mocking protestations of agony on Internet discussion boards.” Seattle PI, “Once I started reading it, I could not put it down.” Times, “Collins writes with raw power.” Pretty amazing reviews on-top of being on the New York Times best-seller list. So I start reading…

I stop reading. Is it just me? Or is this possibly the worst book I have ever read? I start asking around. Everyone seems surprised, shocked, and even offended that I have literally nothing good to say about this book. Now, you are probably thinking, well how can you judge when you didn’t even read them. I DID read them. All 3 books. ALL TERRIBLE. I felt so guilty about spending $40 on this nice set of books to just throw them in the garbage after 1 chapter. I kept reading. I was begging the story to get better after half-way through book 1. It just went on and on. Bad writing, weak story, embarrassing line after embarrassing line.

Ok, so some clarity. This book is about a young girl living in a sort of Communist society after the world has “ended” (everything is very vaguely described, and not vague in an intriguing sort of way). The main idea of the story is very reminiscent of a fantastic novel called Battle Royale. A bunch of kids forced by the government to fight each other in an arena for the entertainment and control of the government. There is somewhat a “love story” sprinkled throughout awkwardly and the amount of dialogue in the entire trilogy could probably fill a small teacup. Every time Collins is about to go into dialogue from some characters, she instead launches into an inner monologue by the main character Katniss, describing how the conversation went. The writing is extremely un-clever and boring. It’s really unclear as to who these books are written for since there is quite a bit of badly described gore and violence, but NO SEX. Only kissing. Really boring kissing. Like, really, really dull, dry kissing.

Also, book 1 and book 2 are EXACTLY THE SAME. Literally, Collins had so little imagination that she wrote the same book TWICE. They have the exact same story line. There is no build up, only let downs. So this is just a warning to you out there who feel the need to read this book because everyone’s doing it. No need. Just watch the movie they are making with Lenny Kravitz and Woody Harrelson coming out in a month. It looks so good. NOT. But here’s the trailer if you’re interested: www.thehungergamesmovie.com

Honda’s Million Mile Joe

Author Selena Category

Misc

Nov 23 2011

I know what you’re all saying: “This man’s a hero!” Right? Because they threw him his own parade and they gave him a new car, he must be some kind of hero? Like, he probably gave a hundred sick children blankets or saved an old woman from a burning building? Well, I’m sorry, but you’re totally wrong. Million Mile Joe actually got all of this hype for driving a shitty car around for a really long time. Disappointment? Disgust? Anger? Yes, these are all feelings you are probably having right now and all I can tell you is… there is no more hope.

After watching this video, I really thought it was a joke. I love the line that Joe says in the beginning, “I didn’t get the reaction or excitement I was hoping for…” WHAT WERE YOU HOPING FOR?? Oh Joe. Some of you might be feeling the opposite of me, and I understand. People LOVE local “success” stories. They eat that shit UP. What I am upset about is the fact that a whole town and company put on this huge expensive event for something so extremely silly and trivial. I was seriously waiting for them to say something like, “He drove a million miles and he only has one leg!” or, “Wow he went all that way while driving food to homeless shelters across the country!” But no. The video ends with Joe getting a new car, his wife almost in tears saying how proud she is, and Miss Maine giving him a huge key. WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE?

Cheatin’ uh? WordPress Error Message

Author Chris Category

Misc

Oct 18 2011

Some of you might not be able to relate to this…..yet, but anyway:

So there I am, minding my own business just registering a new taxonomy in the BossnotBoss and when I go populate it, WordPress reaches out and slaps me with the least helpful error message in the universe: Cheatin’ uh?

I reacted with the mind of a normal sane person and calmly threw my computer out the window (which wasn’t open at the time). Once I cooled off, I went to glue my computer back together and I used paper mache substitutes for the pieces I couldn’t find. Fired up the internet machine and tried again only find the “Cheatin’ uh?” error seemed to have taken a permanent residence in my WP backend; this is when I thought to myself, “Am I cheating? hmmm.” Ultimately reaching the conclusion that I wasn’t and WordPress was simply on the blob.

After some research I learned that this damn thing is happening all the time all over the place and if it hasn’t happened to you, your WP site is probably really boring.

One solution that seemed to be very popular was that you should only use lower-case letters when registering the name of your taxonomy, but it should be noted that my research shows this error message can happen for a number of reasons which makes it less less less helpful.

I just don’t understand how you could get away with using that as an error message. Why can’t it just say “there’s something fucked on line 84 in awesome.php”, but instead it just accuses you of cheating? Where I come from, such a harsh acusation can get you into trouble and you’d better be sure you’re right before you run around pointing your finger. Shame on you, WordPress. I’ve been nothing but loyal to you. I don’t even look when another, more beautiful CMS walks by.

3-D Effects

Author Chris Category

Motion

May 02 2011

First, the fact that you need an accessory to engage with 3D is bullshit. Perhaps I’m a little biased since I’m cursed with a lazy eye. Or perhaps this is just a form of FOMO? However, I’ve seen Avatar and two dimensions were bad enough.

I will say though, that 3D is nice. Nice like when the only adjective used to describe someone is “nice”, then you know you’d be fine never knowing them at all. What I’m saying is that 3D seems like such a waste of time to develop upon. Maybe in the 50′s when the first 3D hollywood movie came out, but 60 years later? Tablets that take 3D video is the new thing? It’s time to move on.

At the very least, holograms are what we should be looking into, and even this idea isn’t new. You all saw the voice mail from Leia for Obi Wan; that amazing idea has just been sitting around for over 30 years. Why don’t you have a holo-video playing from youtube on your iPhone right now? I ask myself this and wonder what companies have been working on this whole time… 3D TVs. But you and anyone who you want to watch it will need those sexy specs.

It would be more practical to use the technology in the context of conversation. The phone has been missing a key factor in human conversation: body language. There’s been millions of times when I’ve reworked what I was about to say based on the other person’s body language and I’m sure you’ve experienced the same thing. When a girl you’re talking with starts playing with her hair or when you’re brainstorming ideas and one person is rolling their eyes at all of yours, there’s another level to the conversation. I know that there’s video phoning and face chatting, but there’s so much more than phones and I bet you can think of a few amazing ways to use holography.

There’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll live to see the creation of holo-decks (and teleporting) and I can’t wait for flat video to become obsolete (until future hipsters adopt it because movies like Avatar have that dated vintage look).

Dribbble.com Practices

Author Chris Category

Design

Mar 07 2011

I’d never heard of this site until I read an AIGA article about it and sites like it. Dribbble.com is a place where designers can show off projects they’re working on. Some use it in an effort to receive feedback on their work in hopes that said feedback will bring about a better design or just to gloat.

AIGA talked about how unprofessional it is to show projects, that are for a client and are ‘in process,’ on the internet and, essentially, to the masses. It should be said that some projects aren’t client based and, rather, are simply personal projects. I completely agree with not showing client work before completion, flat out. Don’t get me wrong; feedback from a few trusted eyes is something that I regularly practice and value, but to be trusted with client info and to show it to the world on your own is a foul. That sentence is essentially a truncated version of the AIGA article and I recommend reading it for it’s points on client-designer relations.

So after reading I’m checking out some of the work on the site and become mostly interested in the feedback that’s given about pieces and quickly come to realize the main flaw with dribbble.com: the feedback given by people is complete shit. “oh, cool” “that’s so cute” or “good” are the most worthless crits anyone could receive because it doesn’t push or challenge the design(er); or confirm it for that matter.

I submit that dribbble.com implement a new rule. A project can receive only up to 3 complements; beyond that is Three In The Key. Clearly it must be good enough and the project goes to some other page to make room for the kids that really need the help.

It’s not all positive feedback- although it mostly is. Kids will comment about hierarchy and layout which is important but because nobody that’s reviewing knows the brief, nobody can say “that’s a really strong concept for that client’s objectives” or “that concept doesn’t fit for these reasons: (…). Maybe something emphasising (some client aspect)” A lot of the projects seem to exercise a trendy practice and, for that reason, seem lacking in a thought out concept to, hopefully, guide to a more unique and identifiable design.

Like I said earlier, some are personal projects, so what I’ve said about not sharing doesn’t apply. And some people who post do mention “I’m trying to communicate (this).” Also not all the projects up are trend-city-3000; some are actually quite good and look like maybe they used their brain. Always remember though: CONCEPT IS KING, or if you prefer: CONCEPT IS KANG.

What do you think about dribbble.com? Let us know in the comments :)

PS. Having a site based in design, but basketball themed? That’s just rude.

PPS. I don’t really hit up the AIGA site too often so reading that article was also the time I realized that they totally copied BNB with their drop-cap. I would guess they implemented it before BNB’s launch so the only thing that makes sense is that AIGA went into the future, saw how big of a hit BossnotBoss.com was, and copied the drop-cap.

Glenn Beck

Author Nash Category

Misc

Dec 28 2009

Glenn Beck is a scat muncher!

Glenn Beck’s fear mongering, liberal bashing, and illogical rants are (in my opinion) crafted to advance the Fox New neo-conservative agenda and further his own career, and nothing else. Programs such as Glenn Beck’s are (by Fox’s definition) NOT news, they are purely opinions and entertainment. OK, that is fine, except they are presented as news and that is how they are often interpreted. So here is the deal, I can’t say that I always disagree with Beck, from time to time he says stuff that isn’t total garbage.

But watch a few clips from his nightly turd fest and you will see: his arguments lack facts and logic, he consistently bashes any form of liberalism and relates them to communist, fascist, socialists, etc, he distorts everything to fit the neo-con agenda, and he presents all of this with a fake ass acting persona that makes you so want to agree with everything he says. Please don’t, he’s full of shit.

See Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert rip him apart:
1 2 3 4

Nocturnal Emission

Author Chris Category

Misc

Dec 24 2009

One of nature’s cruelest practical jokes. Why does it happen to the best of us and how to aid avoiding it after the lump jump

There you are just minding your own business, sexing away and it’s great. Then you wake up to find that the only thing real about it is the mess you now have to clean up.

A nocturnal emission (wet dream, night discharge, or spontaneous orgasm) is when you ejaculate while you’re catchin some z’s. It’s most common for boys in puberty, but it also happens to girls in the form of extreme lubrication of the vagina. This post, however, will focus mainly on the male side of things.

Wikipedia states that there’s no data to suggest an exact cause (aside from increased hormone production) or method of prevention, but several other sites, as well as a little common sense, say that you just gottalotta semen in your balls and you need make room for some fresh new swimmers. The more you rub one out on your own or with a friend, the less your body rubs one out for you. Although there have been cases where this isn’t the case, I have gone out of my way to put this theory to the test for the sake of Boss Not Boss readers everywhere, and it’s held true. So I’ve come up with this line to help you keep from waking up to the chore of washing your sheets in the middle of the night:

Awake for the cream, avoid the clean.

Advertising Methods

Author Chris Category

Misc

Dec 18 2009

here’s a hand full of different ways you can use the nearest proletariat to get your company’s name out into the world!

This isn’t about how the general idea of advertising is not boss because advertising can be a very important part of making a business successful and it holds a lot of potential which is why I’m always surprised to see the awful ways some people go about it. There are some great examples of creative advertising like this and that, but it seems like some companies don’t even try and the worst is when regular people have to be thrown into the mix like when you rent some segway and there’s a fat ad for tampons on the front of it. Although I suppose it’s a fitting punishment for renting a segway in the first place, but you know what I’m saying. In some instances I suppose you could argue that you’re making jobs for people and how important that is, but does it really have to be like this?

Bitch Slap

Author Hamilton Category

Motion

Dec 06 2009

Having seen only the trailer for this movie I can safely say, “is this a goddamn joke?”

If anyone’s actually made the grave mistake of shitting through this entire movie maybe you can confirm or deny. But really no one can have seen this preview and then gone “this looks like a good movie that I want to see.” Ok ok, I’ll concede that the lead actresses are total Baberham Lincolns but somehow that’s not even tempting. Maybe the thought of slowly replacing my brain with poop for two hours is more powerful then catching a couple glimpses of some pretty girls.

Cemeteries

Author Chris Category

Misc

Nov 30 2009

The space could be used MUCH better

Reading up on this, I found that there’s a heap of kids that have the same view. The only reason that people seem to want to keep or use cemeteries is because of religious reasons or the need for a visual end to provide some sort of emotional closure. Both of those reasons are just in your head anyway. The fact is: that person is long gone and they’re not going to be be any more or less important to you if you spend thousands of dollars putting them in a hole or if their body goes to science or even just spreading their ashes somewhere neat.

The space could be used for a park, or trails, or a school. Those are just three things that tons of people get use out of all the time! I’ve never gone by a cemetary and thought, ‘damn, that place is busy’ they’re usually empty with maybe a drifter wandering through not really going to any use at all. That drifter wouldn’t be so lonely if he had people around him biking through trails or drinking on the big toy.

The money spent on putting some kids in the dirt could be spent on tuition or food. Save the dough for your damn kid who’s alive with potential and probably likes to hit up the park every so often and go to school.

It looks as though that some cemeteries are maintained by funds collectied via a cemetery taxing district where a portion of a resident’s property tax goes towards the cemetery if they’re within the proximity…… lame.

I actually can’t really think of a practical reason for a cemetery.

peep these links on how expensive dirt pods are and learn that there is no design in the afterlife. Then a story about how a school and turtles are frustrating Provincetown Cemetery